He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
