this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
