Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
