There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
