are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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