My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Vodka?
Forever.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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