Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
