I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
