Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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