My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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