Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
