If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize