New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
