We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This baby is an asshole
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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