Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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