I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
