My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
