I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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