Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
