You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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