Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Fuck appropriateness.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
