they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
