who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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