I hate all girls vehemently.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
