I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i drank out of a bidet.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
