...so i touched it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
