I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
