I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
