nut hugger
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize