Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize