I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
