she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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