He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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