I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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