ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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