im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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