I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
