Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
