woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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