You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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