Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
