rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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