I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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