You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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