Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
