i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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