I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
