he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize