why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
