ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
