he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
