Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize