Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
