eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
