Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
