I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize