What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
