first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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