She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
