So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
