I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
How's work?
Spinning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
