Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
