I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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