her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
