Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
