peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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