Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
