I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
